Throughout our lives, there are times when we find ourselves in what Dante and Rev. Eric Elnes refer to as the Dark Wood: a place of confusion and emptiness and stumbling where we can’t figure out the way forward. Those times in life when we experience emptiness, failure… and uncertainty. This morning, we are looking at the gift of uncertainty.
I know- it doesn’t seem like a gift. We want a clear path. Solid answers: This is what faith is. This is the path. This is what we need to do. But that’s not life. There are moments when, maybe due to some crisis, we awaken in the Dark Wood. And yet, there are moments of the Holy Spirit inviting us into a place that is more than we ever imagined… and therefore terrifying because we’ve never imagined it- we’re unprepared and life is going in a way that can’t be imagined to be good.
And so, as Elnes describes, “When you cannot see the endpoint of your journey, or the path ahead is not clearly marked, you grow nervous. If you do not have rock-solid assurances that everything will be OK and that the path ahead is perfectly safe, you tend to dig your heels in.”
Sound familiar? Consider the scripture that is usually read on this first Sunday of Lent: right after his baptism, Luke 4 tells us that Jesus “was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil.” That doesn’t sound like certainty. Look at any hero from scripture, and “there is no evidence to suggest that faith exempted them from uncertainty and struggle.” This is part of the life of faith. In our lives, which I think includes the life of a community or even a church, there are moments when the way forward is uncertain.
Elnes looks at the passage we heard from 1 Corinthians, and interprets it in light of our experiences with uncertainty. See Paul describes life now as in part, and eventually we will see the entire picture. And in the middle is that often quoted verse: “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, reason like a child, think like a child. But now that I have become a man, I’ve put an end to childish things.” Elnes looks at this verse in context and says:
“According to the apostle Paul, those of us who have a high need for certainty in life are being childish. While certainty may come in the fullness of time, to have an adult faith is to put away our desire for certainty. ...The word translated as [‘reflection’ or] ‘dimly’ [or ‘darkly’ in other translations] … comes from the Greek word anigmati … [which] is where the English word enigma comes from. What is an enigma? Enigma is ‘puzzling, a riddle, ambiguous, difficult to understand or interpret.’ What Paul is saying is that a mature faith is one that embraces life as a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved- that accepts uncertainty as a gift, not a curse.” “Paul understands that love thrives in uncertainty-not the kind of uncertainty that increases chaos, but the kind that develops trust.”
Yet in those moments of uncertainty, we often fight against it, wanting stability and certainty. But there is a gift to the power of uncertainty. In the gospel reading we heard earlier, Jesus says time after time “You have heard it said… but I say to you.” The people were certain- it was fine to swear by God’s name provided they did not break their oath. They were to love their neighbor and hate their enemy. And then, Jesus turned everything upside down. He asked the people to doubt what they had heard for ages, what they had held as certainties. They shouldn’t be taking an oath at all- yes and no were sufficient. Hating was not an option, even if it’s an enemy. By opening up and questioning what they had always held as certain, Jesus invited them to open up to God’s way of seeing.
Elnes tells a story of his own life. In 2008, his 17-year-old daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and went under surgery where they were able to remove only half of it. She was scheduled for another surgery, and the likelihood of removing all of the tumor was miniscule. Elnes, his wife, and both of his daughters were scared. This was also the year of the economic crisis, and as a pastor he was at a meeting where the Trustees were worrying about the upcoming year financially as church members were experiencing job losses and financial uncertainty. Elnes recounts that in the midst of the meeting, he “wanted to scream: You have no right to be worrying over anything until it presents itself to be worried about! You’re only adding unnecessary fear and stress when some of us have quite enough as it is!
“[He] paused before speaking out, however, because the message seemed to be pointed at [him] even more than to them. ... [He] was making [himself] sick over all the horrors that might happen long before they ever could happen.” This moment and realization gave Elnes what has become a personal mantra for him: “Do not worry about anything until it presents itself to be worried about.” “In this message… the Spirit taught [Elnes] about uncertainty’s greatest gift: uncertainty teaches us to let go of all concerns but the ones we truly face, giving us the courage and power to face them. In so doing, uncertainty provides the unexpected invitation to live our lives wholeheartedly.”
“When we allow ourselves to accept the journey within the Dark Woods, the Holy Spirit Guide tends to shake things up a bit as we begin to awaken to nudgings toward a fuller life. But life is messy. Life is uncertain. Rather than a problem to be solved, what if we saw uncertainty as a gift helping us let go of all we cannot know so that we can live more wholeheartedly?” Thanks be to God. Amen.
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