The Gift of Getting Lost

Have you ever felt totally lost? Like where you are just isn’t working for you, it’s sapping everything but you have no idea what’s next? Or, even once you’re on the right path, you can’t see straight ahead- the path is winding, or maybe the path isn’t marked at all. There are twists and turns… and sometimes it feels like we’re going the wrong way, and there’s no map that outlines the dark trail.

In Gifts of the Dark Wood, Elnes tells a great story about getting lost while making ends meet in college. See, every year he went up to a certain salmon cannery in Alaska. It was exhausting work, but in under 2 months, he could make the money he needed that year for his studies, which included $8,000 which was due at the beginning of each school year. The summer before his senior year, Elnes realized that he was called to seminary after college. He was excited about this prospect, but had to finish college first, and that meant paying for it. He had also spent up his savings, so Elnes needed a big salmon season. 

Apparently the salmon had other ideas. Instead of long hours and high profit, the cannery didn’t have much work for them and was sending everyone home early. Elnes writes:

After four weeks of scrounging around for any odd job I could find, I had managed to accumulate just $1200 dollars.

As the date of my departure to the Lower 48 neared, I became more anxious and desperate as I struggled to reconcile my sense of call to ministry with the looming certainty that I couldn’t afford to return for my final year of college. ...All I knew for sure was that I was lost. On walks… I would cry out to God, “I need a miracle!...” My cries simply disappeared into the void, returning unanswered. No assurance. No visions. And, of course, no money.

Three days before Elnes was scheduled to fly home, a thought fluttered across his mind- that he was asking for the wrong thing. Instead of asking for a miracle or money, he needed to ask for “assurance that [God loved him], and that [God would] be there for [him] in defeat as in victory.” Not what he wanted to hear but Elnes tried it, and writes that “something unexpected drifted past [his] awareness: a whiff of peace.” With that faintest whisper, Elnes began to pray more sincerely. And that sense of peace grew stronger. No longer anxious, Elnes overheard about a job opportunity at another cannery. With nothing to lose, he spent half his savings on a plane ticket there, turned in a job application, and was hired immediately for the largest salmon run in a century in Southeastern Alaska. Had everything gone to plan, Elnes wouldn’t have experienced the anxiety, but neither would he have experienced the peace that came during those moments. See, “the quiet assurance [Elnes] received [that summer] has become a defining moment in [his] life.” This moment continues to serve as a reminder when he loses his way that he only needs to stand still and allow God, the Holy Spirit, to find him.

Samuel’s story points the way to how God works in the midst of the Dark Wood. When he was a toddler, Samuel was dedicated to God and he has been serving under Eli ever since. This morning’s passage starts when Samuel has been serving for years. Now a youth, he is to receive God’s unique call to his life. 

There’s a few things Samuel’s story teaches us, even when we feel lost.

For one, it’s ok if you miss the whisper of God the first time, or even if you doubt. God doesn’t give up with Samuel! God calls out to Samuel four times. Not once or twice or the typical three, but four times! You might misread that whisper the first time, what Elnes describes as “a thought [that] fluttered in and out of [his] mind almost before he could notice it.” God doesn’t call out like in performances of the gospels. We don’t get a ray of sunshine piercing the clouds to shine only on one spot and a thunderous voice booming that could not be mistaken. God doesn’t make winning lottery tickets miraculously appear when we’ve never played or cancer miraculously disappear without treatment. God works through those small nudges, like a father thinking of his child’s mother and giving into a nudge to send a child support check right when it’s needed, or through chemotherapy and radiation. God works through that little voice that says, “Maybe it’s time to see a doctor” or a nudge to act, to call, to respond. The Spirit continues to call and nudge even when we miss it. So if we think we hear the Spirit’s nudging, but aren’t entirely sure, that’s ok. We can take small steps and continue listening, because the Spirit will continue to nudge us.

Similarly, it’s ok if we have some doubts. Eli tells Samuel to say, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.” And Samuel does… almost. He says, “Speak, for your servant is listening,” leaving out the “Lord” part. The author didn’t just forget or vary it for fun. Rather, we’re being told that Samuel still isn’t totally sure who is speaking.

Next, God speaks in the stillness. It isn’t amid the hustle and bustle of the day that God speaks. It’s when Samuel is lying down, in the wee hours of the morning. Elnes talks about his own spiritual practice of getting still for thirty minutes every morning before starting his day, and while he doesn’t always get these insights and nudges from the Spirit in that time, that thirty minute period is typically when he does discern the Spirit’s calls. 

Finally, the Spirit works through even the least faithful. God has a big, difficult message for Eli. And yet, Eli is the one who helps Samuel recognize God is calling. “In the Dark Wood, even those who are lost themselves can be gift-bearers to others seeking their way in the dark.”

There may be times when you feel lost in your own life. And there may be times when we feel lost as a church. But even in the midst of the lostness, God is present: the Spirit is nudging and whispering. So listen to the nudgings of the Spirit. Get quiet, and reflect. For God speaks in those times when we are lost. And God continues to quietly guide here in Parkersburg. Thanks be to God. Amen.

Resources for this sermon include:

Marcia McFee, Gifts of the Dark Wood, “The Gift of Getting Lost Script: Lent 4” from the Worship Design Studio with Dr. Marcia McFee. 2018.

Eric Elnes, Gifts of the Dark Wood: Seven Blessings for Soulful Skeptics (and Other Wanderers), (Nashville, Abingdon Press, 2015), Chapter 5: The Gift of Getting Lost. Includes a section on the passage from Samuel which I relied on heavily.

Eric Elnes, “Series: The Gifts of the Dark Wood, Episode 5” on darkwoodbrew.org