The Gift of Emptiness

Emptiness. This morning’s theme reminds me of the Christian analogy that a person has a “God-shaped hole” within them. I remember being told that this is why anyone would do drugs, or commit adultery, or drink excessively- to fill this hole that only God could fill. In the context I remember hearing it, this analogy often led to essentially judging or belittling others, so it was not helpful. But what if I looked at my own life instead: 

Where do I fill up with anything else because I feel empty? What does emptiness feel like?

Well, author Forrest Church came up with a pretty good list in the preface to his book Lifecraft:

To one extent or another, the following is true:

You are self-conscious about your appearance.

You feel guilty about things you have done or failed to do.

You sometimes have a hard time accepting yourself or forgiving others.

...You are a less-than-perfect parent, or a less-than-perfect child of less-than-perfect parents, or both.

...However successful you are, you fail in ways that matter both to you and to your loved ones.

We have worries and we have faults, which we tend to be incredibly aware of and insecure about. So after quoting the passage from Forrest Church, Elnes writes: “Imagine what it would be like to be free- free not of your faults but your fear of them. This is precisely what the Dark Wood gift of emptiness brings.”

Sometimes Emptiness in the Dark Wood is those times when we wonder who we are. These times are often scary- when a defining characteristic is stripped away like a job, role, or relationship. When we have to redefine ourselves. Perhaps you identify with Parker Palmer who would find he had entered the Dark Wood during bouts of depression: “In that ...darkness, the faculties [Palmer] had always depended on collapsed. [His] intellect was useless; [his] emotions were dead; [his] will was impotent; [his] ego was shattered.” 

Even Jesus felt the difficulties of the Dark Wood while up on the cross. Mark makes a point of showing the emptiness: everyone had abandoned him; there were no disciples present. Peter had thrice denied Jesus. And we hear the complete mockery by three different groups: people walking by, religious leaders, and even the two crucified on either side. Jesus has been so wholly abandoned that he cries out “My God, why have you forsaken me?”

This is the Dark Wood. Emptiness might feel like abandonment. Like there’s nothing of worth. But while there’s every indication that Jesus felt like God had abandoned him, we know this is not the case. We heard that the temple curtain was torn from the top down, indicating that it was torn by God. In three days, Jesus will be raised. God does not abandon! In his own Dark Wood which he experienced during bouts of Depression, Parker Palmer encountered the Dark Wood as “a beautiful, mysterious place where he discovered a wild and powerful presence within himself [which was his soul], which was itself connected to an even more wild, powerful presence” of the Holy Spirit. “[F]or the last two thousand years, christians have insisted that the Cross is not the end of the story, but the beginning of a new one… [n]ot because Jesus found God as he stared from the Cross into the vast emptiness of the heavens, but because from within this Great Emptiness God found Jesus. The message could not be more profound: If you yearn to find God, get empty! Let God find you.”

Consider Samuel from our first scripture. He had to empty himself of his own assumptions to be able to hear God say “No, not this one.” He had to be doubting everything as he got to the end of the line of Jesse’s sons, and God kept saying “No, not this one,” wondering if he was hearing God right since, let’s be honest, God doesn’t typically speak in words we can hear unless they’re from another person. But Samuel trusted God, and went with this connection and asked “Is there another?” even if it meant looking foolish. And, as we heard, there was another. David: God’s chosen king of Israel.

Getting empty is a gift, but we have to let go of everything we’re filling up with instead. This can mean embracing meditation or centering prayer, sitting and allowing God to speak. About five years ago, I started meditating. I haven’t kept it up, but during those weeks where everyone was working from home during lockdowns and shelter-in-place, it helped me center my time and clear my mind of everything. Other times I’ve prayed at night, walking around the neighborhood and glancing up at the stars, quieted by the majesty above. These times with God incorporated quiet- an opportunity to listen.

At the beginning of his book, Elnes tells the story of writing it- it was supposed to be a very different book. He scheduled time at a retreat center to write, but by the end of the first week, notecards strewn about him, he still had nothing. He railed at God- the book was for God, after all. Nothing. And finally, he prayed, “I’m ready to trash this whole book. If this isn’t the book I should write, then I’m willing to return to Omaha and tell my congregation that it was all for nothing. I’d rather be embarrassed than try to write something you don’t want me to write.’” And he got a response. When he turned to God, Elnes felt this response that God wanted him to write something different. And the book started to flow.

We have a tendency to obsess over what we lack. When we feel empty, we fear there’s nothing of worth within us. But crowding our lives with meaningless stuff just so we don’t have to encounter emptiness robs us of the opportunity to truly be filled. How might the things that fill us -like ego, fear of being unloved, worry of not measuring up- how might these need to be emptied so that you can live more fully? Because when we let go of all of these fears and worries and insecurities, when “we let go of our obsession with worthiness [then we can accept that] if we want to be filled–to find God–getting empty is the best way. God will find us! 

Thanks be to God. Amen.

*Resources for this sermon include:

Marcia McFee, Gifts of the Dark Wood, “The Gift of Emptiness Script: Lent 2” from the Worship Design Studio with Dr. Marcia McFee. 2018.

Eric Elnes, Gifts of the Dark Wood: Seven Blessings for Soulful Skeptics (and Other Wanderers), (Nashville, Abingdon Press, 2015), Chapter 3: The Gift of Emptiness.

R. Alan Culpepper, Smyth & Helwys Bible Commentary: Mark, (Macon, Smyth & Helwys Publishing, Inc., 2007).

Eric Elnes, “Series: The Gifts of the Dark Wood, Episode: 3” on darkwoodbrew.org